"No Other Marathon Has Tougher Qualifying Standards" (Excluding Olympic Trials)
About The Marathon
This Marathon was created in response to the Gansett Marathon and Boston Marathon, for runners who need to validate themselves by qualifying for an elite race. We believe their standards are too easy, and that they allow for simpletons to participate in a Marathon. We believe that a Marathon should only be run by athletes who prove themselves to be better than everyone else. None of this "charity runner" bullshit. Charity is for communists and socialists anyway, but that's another issue entirely.
Pound-for-pound, the ant is one of the world's strongest animals, in terms of its size:strength ratio. This is why we give preference to runners based on their gender, age, and size. Obviously, women are slower than men, old people are slow, and fat people are slow. We try to weed out as many undesirables as possible, but you may see a woman, old person, or even a fat person on race day. We apologize in advance.
Your net worth is also considered during the registration and qualification process. We don't want poor people participating in this event. It already smells bad enough on the back end of the course.
